I like a good argument! I don’t like falling-out with people, upsetting people and/or being mean to people. But I do like a good argument. Does that make sense?
I think it does. There are several definitions of the word “argument” but I like “discourse intended to persuade” from the Merriam-Webster dictionary the best.
The word “argument”, I believe, is too often used to describe an event that results in people having a noisy, heated and perhaps angry dispute. I prefer to consider it to be a true debate, an exchange of alternative ideas, a desire to persuade.
I work with two colleagues that in truth are very good friends. If we can, we try to get out of the office for a stroll each lunchtime. The stroll inevitably leads to conversation, the conversation to debate and if we’re lucky all three of us take different positions in the resulting argument. It’s fantastic. This is when I love our walks most. The prospect of changing the opinions of my friends, the chance that I may hear a more compelling case for an alternative viewpoint to mine, the idea that I might know and understand more than I did before we set-off; now that’s exciting.
I feel lucky that I can rarely predict the position that my opponents will take. In any walk I might guess right for one of them, but I’m hardly ever right for them both. And that’s also great. We have to be at our best to persuade and you know you have argued well if you succeed.
We go at it, with energy and enthusiasm, conceding ground only if there is really no chance of a counter strike. An observer would probably question if we have any common ground at all. But we do, and when we’re done the winning or losing is not as important as the fact that we don’t disrespect or cause offence.
And in reality it’s a win-win situation. I don’t believe you can really lose, the worst that happens is you recognise that your opponent has a better understanding of the issue, and in recognising that, so do you.
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